Being 46,XX

The only difference between a male and a female is a Chromosome . A female has two X chromosome and A male has one X and one Y chromosome . The difference the similarity between two individuals is how the 4 nucleotide bases “A” , “T” , “G” , “C” are organised . We are nothing just a combination of four molecules . It may appear a simple design making various combinations of four molecules but the picture is so huge . A Chromosome , when we consider appears a small entity but has such a huge impact . The Master builder , all the forces of nature work in synchronization to make us what we are today .

We are a lot of what we want ourselves to be . An individual told to design two rooms will put all his input in building the two rooms , he will not be biased towards any room, he will try to make the two as similar as possible . The Master builder has made us all equals . The course of evolution the social structure has made us realize the difference , the difference of one chromosome .

In school from early on we are taught about Female Foeticide , Dowry , Sati Pratha ( a practice where the widow burns in the funeral pyre of her husband ) .  We were made aware about these things early on , we as children considered them practices occurring in villages or areas where Illiteracy prevailed . When you hear things in childhood you have a little viewpoint , you haven’t been outside your home all the places you go they appear happy but as you grow you see the larger picture and it is not that happy .

Things are happening and will be happening , but do I turn stone to them ?

The worst feeling in this world is having a functional body and mind and not being able to use them to full potential , the feeling of being dependent , the feeling of being at mercy of someone . The feeling you have when you are not able to be what you want to be .

From early on girls are handed over dolls and little guys are handed over cars . Girls are expected to acknowledge the beauty and the boys are handed power . I do not want to say that hand over dolls to little guys but give a little girl a car , may be she feels empowered or feels she has some control .

A part of me wants to fight , fight with all the prejudices . Then I think , What am I to evolutionary forces ? , What am I to this society ? For how long will I sit behind a screen and express my opinion in this huge ocean of opinions? Why is there a bias between what I say and what I do?

I ask for equal rights but on the other hand I will not step out of my house after 9 pm .

I ask myself this question and I ask you too . Maybe the girl inside me knows that laws  are made on paper ?

I was raised with a lot of pampering . My Mother complained to my Father about what you are raising , I heard them argue and wanted my Father to win . I am much more free spirited and loud as compared to my brother who is the most peaceful individual I have seen . Basically there were very few things that made me realize that I was a girl . We both had equal restrictions and rules . I remember when I was in 6th grade during a religious service at our place , A female Pundit stopped me from doing my part , and she explained that Girls belong to their In-Laws house and they do not do the practice at their fathers place . I was a little child back then and my heart felt so heavy , I cried silently all the while , but with dignity I kept my smile maybe it was then that I realized there was some difference . As soon as the pundit left my Father and Mother both helped me complete my part . Now I applaud what my parents did but that day I felt I was a girl and there is some difference

When you grow the picture becomes clearer , things change . Now when I ask my father for permission not all are passed . I observe some bias , I have issues with the bias . When I move out in the society I realize why there is a bias . The father I wanted to win , I sometimes have conflicts with his opinion . I agree with them at the end because all they want is to protect me and there is no place safer and warmer than your parents . On the contrary I ask about equal rights , I celebrate Women’s Day .

Who am I asking for my rights ? The government has given me rights but when will the dynamics of the society change ?

The amount of sexism in our society is beyond what you can Imagine . Not in bigger but little things . In our native language Punjabi a girl is called a “Kudi” , while protesting for a crime in our country a Social worker explained to us the origin of the word “Kudi” , it comes from the word “Kuda” that translates to garbage in Punjabi , why a girl is garbage you might be thinking ? because she has to be married off , dowry is to be paid she is a pressure on her parents it was believed , they still do . “Kudi” is just a word , will you stop your old grandma from calling you her Kudi affectionately , she does not know the origin of the word . How may people will you stop ? Would you even stop them , maybe they do not know what it means? I too am guilty of using this word but does my feeling when I use this word overpower the age old sexism imbibed in this word.

The pop culture is no less , it’s another realm . They say the pop culture the books they are a symbol of how the society was at a particular time . My head bends in shame when I see the pop culture at my time . It is so subtly sexist and sometimes openly sexist but no one cares it appears normal .

Let me describe a popular song with around 12 million views on YouTube : This guy who is a janitor in an office is in love with a lady working in this office , the lady is the embodiment of beauty and brains she is working and earning . The Janitor loves this lady the lady does not accept him . Only because the lady does not accept his proposal the Janitor says ” you will make bread and listen to my songs ” . I really do not have the guts to watch the video till the end because an empowered women who was working in the office is shown in tattered clothes making bread while her husband yells at her and the song plays in the background . I have issues with the video and the song at so many levels I cannot hear it and it brings tears to my eyes . What type of love is being portrayed ? Why will a working women sit at home and be her husbands maid? Why would she take orders? . Love has a whole new definition , it is common to see songs where they guy proposes to the girl and warns her to accept it or he will commit suicide . Sheer psychopathic behavior is portrayed in our songs . What will a child think the order of a female is in our society ?

In the name of religion people are committing crimes , last month whole of our state was disturbed , Internet services were not available for three days , just because a self proclaimed God-men was being sentenced for his crimes and his devotees could not accept the fact that their god was a criminal . He committed the crime , but the part media played cannot be avoided. Days before his sentence all news channels were synthesizing reports and weeks after his sentence the media still played reports and YouTube trending page was very disturbing . I do not say that don’t spread the news but have some elegance when you spread the news , it is a crime it will have a life altering impact on the victims , why use the words so blatantly ?

I kept myself shut down to news channels and the trending page , and one night I saw a video and had the worst nightmare . Why do we have to use the words insensibly to sensationalize the news and synthesize new stories to keep the ratings up? when will we consider the impact it had on the victims ?

An aide of the god men her daughter a female was considered to be aware about his crimes and went underground . She was not convicted , she maybe guilty no doubt . The stories synthesized by the media and the YouTube channels was truly the portrayal of the society I am living in today .The criminal is in jail for his crimes , his daughter is out why create sensational stories twisting the purity of the relationship unless it is proven . I accept  the fact that a female will be considered more responsible as the crime were against women , but who has given them the right to talk about a women in such derogatory language . As a female all that was portrayed was unacceptable she maybe a criminal but she is not proven guilty she has the right to be respected , the shame and words thrown at her were a true portrayal of the society I live in .

No matter how much of a tomboy you are , the stares that scan your body make you realize that you are a female and when your body is covered in clothes those stares make you feel naked .

Yes I am a female , now I know

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9 thoughts on “Being 46,XX

  1. I am so sorry that you have to deal with so much prejudice against women. The only thing I can tell you is that this existed in western countries too in the not so distant past and there are many who would like to see the role of women diminished even today. I think you are a strong individual and you will need all your strength to stay true to your inner self and find your own path.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That’s a great post. Being a girl is not easy. I don’t know why but people still discriminate between a boy and a girl which is just sad. Girls are doing more wonders these days and are ahead of men in many fields..

    Liked by 1 person

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